As he walks into the room and sits along the wall, the old familiar smell of sweat and disinfectant flood him with memories of hard work, determination, failure, victory, and challenge. He digs through his bag to find his shoes. The toes are worn, the leather shiny from sliding along the mat. He loosens up the laces and slides the shoes on. It is a ritual, tighten the laces, straighten the tongue, tie the knot. He’s done this a thousand or more times, if he’s done it once. With the shoes on, he rises and steps on the mat. It is quiet. The team hasn’t shown up yet so he loosens up and gets the kinks out of his muscles. He’s not young anymore and practices are getting harder and harder on his body. It has been 25 years since he competed. An average wrestler in his day, maybe a little better than average if he was to be honest with himself. He won a few medals, never was a champion. Inconsistent and always had a tinge of regret that he didn’t begin the sport sooner. Perhaps he would have done better had he more experience, but it doesn’t matter now. He coaches now and reflects on his failures and what he learned from them and now strives to teach these young men the wonders of the sport as well as helping them avoid the mistakes he made so long ago and to develop their character in the pursuit of being gentleman that will be able to seize their future with zeal and passion. Understanding that life just like in a wrestling match, that in one moment, they may be on top and winning with ease, but with one tiny mistake, one lapse in focus, the tables can turn and they find themselves on their back struggling to survive.
He started coaching when he was 16. A family friend was the coach of his sister’s T-Ball Team. He was eight years her senior so there was a significant enough age difference to where the kids still looked up to him because he was in high school. He coached as an assistant for a few years and learned early on that coaching others was a delicate relationship that came with a great deal of influence and a huge amount of power. And to quote Peter Parker’s Uncle, “With great power comes great responsibility.” He made mistakes. One mistake in particular that has stuck with him is during one of the games, a player approached him and said he had to go to the bathroom. He was on deck at the moment and was about to bat, so he told the kid to wait. When the kid stepped up to the plate, he stood there and started crying and that’s when the coach noticed a giant pee stain on his pants. If the coach remembers that 30 some years later, it is quite likely that the kid remembers it too. Lesson: when an 8 year old says he has to pee. He has to do it now. Let him pee. T-Ball will wait. The bigger lesson is to listen to kids, they all have something they fear and they will remember the guy that helped them face that fear and conquer it.
The kids start coming in, 7th and 8th graders. It is a great age. They are goofy. They’re hyper. But they are also little sponges craving information and at that tender age where they could go either way. He has this belief that part of the responsibility falls on him to help them choose the right path. He is their coach. Their mentor. They look to him for guidance. He uses wrestling metaphors to explain challenges they will have in life. He uses practice to teach about discipline, character, respect. Perseverance. Wrestling is a tough sport. You are on a team but you are alone at the same time. You step on the mat with an opponent. One on one. There is no one to help you. Win or lose you do it alone. You will lose. It is a fact. One that is true in life as well. Realistically, only a few of these kids will wrestle beyond high school. So knowing this, what is the important lesson? After pondering it is not whether they will win or lose, they will do both. But rather how they win or lose. So we work hard. Have fun and teach that we win with grace and lose with dignity. Sportsmanship is key.
That’s why he comes to practice with a room full of smelly kids who laugh uncontrollably at an errant fart. To be there for them. To guide them. To answer their silly questions. But most importantly to teach them about life and to be their role model. And to use the great sport of wrestling to do it and maybe…just maybe become decent grapplers as well.
Do you have a memorable coach in your life? Leave a comment about the impact they had on you.